Category Archives: Writing, observations about life, my year so far

So I’m trying to get into this blogging habit!


As you can see, it’s been a long time since I have posted anything. I just stopped writing to tell you the truth. Writer’s block you ask? Nope. I have just been lazy. I had a glance at my blog page and I saw how pathetic and empty it looked. This is wrong! Suppose somebody was looking for the next big thing in writing and they looked and saw my dry, content empty page. Lawwwd.

Here I am February 2017. About 10 days before Valentine’s Day. I’m still in the UK and here I will be for a while. No carnival 2k17 for me this time around. I miss the sun and I need a good dose of vitamin D now. Did you know that Vitamin D is supposed to boost your endorphins? That’s why I think that Brits especially Londoners are some of the most miserable people I have come across. Lack of sunshine! No, I am not going to my sunny paradise across the pond. After being employed for close to 8 years in one place, I decided to leave. Why? Exactly for the reason that I was employed. I was becoming a plant, a Bonzai tree, firmly rooted in one place. My face did not fit. Just like the Bonzai, I was as out of place as one in a field of Snowdrops.

So I’m now job hunting. It’s been shit! I could blame loads of things, the end of the industry I am in, the uncertainty of financial markets, Brexit, terrorism, Donald Trump, Tim Peake, Made in Chelsea. I never said that what I blame has to be true. That’s how senseless my search has been. So far in my search I applied to a very reputable department store, that “celebrates” diversity, cares for its employees, encourages self-development of the individual, etc, etc, etc. I prepared and read up about the said department store, went through their online assessments and amazingly I passed. After another round of this type of assessment, I was eventually shortlisted for an interview at their central London store. I arrived well dressed, prepared and in time for it. I saw that another candidate very casually dressed in jeans, a jacket and brogue-style flat-forms had also been shortlisted. After a 45 minute wait, we were taken up to a room to do a further assessment and interview. After completion of the assessment, I was selected to be interviewed by the Assistant Manager. My Spanish flat-form heeled co-candidate had HER interview with the Department Manager.
The interview I had was pleasant as it seemed that the Assistant Manager and I clicked. She even said that hoped to see me start the following week! Great! By the time I reached home and logged on to my computer, I had been told that I was unsuccessful. Ah yes. I asked for feedback on my interview. I’m still waiting for this.

My next employment attempt took place within an international specialist firm. My really dear friend gave me a heads up by passing on my CV. To avoid any sort of conflict of interest, my friend could not and did not interview me. She left it to her non-professionally qualified colleague and another senior manager to do so. I was given another assessment and then asked the usual interview questions. I was told that I would hear from them later. Nothing. I still have not heard a word. My friend couldn’t get feedback and neither could I.
Another corporate interview which had me doing actual work within their premises for over four hours ended with the same result. And frustratingly – NO FEEDBACK though requested!
No, I don’t think that it is me. It IS them. Dare I say it – Institutional racism and prejudice, is alive and kicking. It’s going to take generations to remove this poison from this society. Legislation, threats of violence or even an economic sanction will not drive out this attitude in the culture of the dominant.

It is amazing how pro-slave trade propaganda justifying Black incarceration and ultimate exploitation, is still the rationale behind rejecting the difference in skin colour and hair texture. Would you say that a Tiger is superior to a lion or vice versa? They are both cats with specific characteristics that Nature has given in order for them to survive in their environment and it’s these adaptations that make us marvel at their individual beauty. Regardless of the shades of our skin or the characteristics of our physical features pertaining to our ethnicity, we are the same species – human beings. We all breathe, eat, excrete and reproduce in exactly the same way. How does the texture of hair or shade or lack thereof determine superiority? It is ridiculous yet this is the world that we willingly accept or I should say, we are trained to accept.

So apart from this momentary rant what do I intend to do about this situation? I’ve decided that I need to call out people and tell them that their “invisible prejudices/racism” is actually invisible because I and many others like myself have been silenced into not calling out the perpetrators. The thing is, I’ve been trained to feel guilty about pointing out this attitude, I have fallen for the dodge tactic of “white hurt guilt”. How could I blame my white friends and colleagues that have black friends, partners and even children that they are to blame for this system of “white privilege” and negative black stereotyping? But they are, even if they are unconscious of doing so.

The world as it is, is acceptable, as long as they are not openly expressing any racist or prejudiced sentiments. But that’s only part of the problem. The real problem is that those of the dominant culture are comfortable with the status quo that permits an uneven playing field and a privilege which facilitates dominance over all others that are not a part of this exclusive club. So my contribution is to aid in the dismantlement of this dominance by declaring that I do not accept the status quo and I will not hesitate to say so. I have no guilt. The guilt is theirs.

I’m back, well sorta…I hope!!!


It’s nearly October and it’s 2016. Since last year I haven’t posted a drop of writing. Why? I had loads to say then but now it’s old news. This has been a year and some. Obviously life does not remain static – that is of course unless you are dead. So where should I begin?

OK – January 2016. That was a happy time! I graduated, wore my little mortar board hat and ting, gown, dress, high-heels ( I did not trip and fall on my face. It’s actually recorded and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I did not do my usual walk like a cockroach stamp. I looked quite elegant ( Yes! Hilary and Yvonne). And that was that! I kinda miss my post-graduate days. The camaraderie in the study group was great and it definitely gave me my creative fix! So graduation was also a sad time. I said goodbye to my foreign colleagues who were still around. I’m an alumni now ( whatever, that means )
So it was back to the drudgery of my job which I hated.

Which brings me down to May. Work was awful. Monotonous, unfriendly colleagues, horrible team leader, back in de boon-docks area. It did nothing for me. They were vanilla ice-cream and I was rum and raisin. Like the two flavours this was not a harmonious pairing. And so we parted ways after seven years of co-existing. Rum and raisin could never be a choc-ice flavour after all.

July – The Rio Olympics! I love them! Russia had to take a back seat! Team GB was brilliant! Biggest ever medal haul. The London legacy is intact and elite sports is safe and sound. I think that more places for free sport need be open. We have bored energetic adolescents running around the cities forming gangs, finding things to do that they shouldn’t, being exploited and then killing each other. Think of pouring all that anger, boredom and energy in sport and activities to put them in a better frame of mind. What is the Sports and Culture Minister doing about this? Sport and the creative industry are both money spinners. The days for transferring money and shares to make more money are almost over. Look at the current rate of interest 0.5% not that I have any money to spend on shares…

So that brings me to now. I’m still job-hunting. I have thrown my net wide and far but unfortunately no fish have bitten yet. I have been on several interviews, think I’ve done ok but there you go. I am however happier not working where I was although I would love to be doing something now.
Ah What else? BREXIT – omg! I am traumatised! What the hell is going on? One good thing about it – they got rid of George Osborne. He is a psychopathic number cruncher. Can imagine he wanted to cut the amount of disability benefit and this would not have made a bit of difference. I don’t think that austerity is going to end but maybe it will be more fairly shared.

Then there’s the US elections. Those are scary. The Donald, the president, oh no! He’s absolutely stark raving BONKERS!! If the race to the elections was not about taking the most powerful position possibly in the Western World, I’d think this whole circus show of a run-up, a bit of reality TV comedy. But this is real and my fear of his possible win in November grows stronger as each month passes! US will be ruled by a racist, misogynist, ignorant but powerful prig! Ok rant over.

Finally, relationship 101. Ladies, your children are breastfed, not your men. It’s called weaning for a reason. Ok enough said…of course until next time.